When It All Comes Out
by TurkWriter
Summary: It's not until a few years later, when Tatsuki is already in college and has tried to move on from the past when Asano comes knocking at her door. Spoilers for the latest chapters, including Chapter 410.


It's not until years later that everything comes out. By the time it does, she's living on her own. Well, unless the woman who spends every night at her boyfriend's place can be considered a real roommate. But, hey, the girl pays her half of the rent and Tatsuki's not going to complain about having the apartment to herself. Not that Tatsuki herself is even at home that often. She's usually busy working part-time at the local dōjō in order to pay her way through college.

She's given up on her dream of being the world's female vale tudo champion. It's not that she doesn't think she has a chance of achieving her teenage goal. It's just that she doesn't feel like fighting anymore, at least not in all out brawls. She's seen people get horribly injured, she's seen them die, and she's had enough. Now, instead of looking forward to her next karate match, she's looking forward to the day where she'll graduate with good enough grades that her parents will help her pay to attend the police academy. She doesn't know what she'll look forward to after that: a lifetime of helping people and keeping them safe, she supposes, but there's still that little nagging at the back of her mind saying, "You couldn't even keep your best friends safe, how can you expect to take care of strangers?"

She hasn't forgotten anything about the world of spirits, but Asano is never at the front or even back of her mind. When she does look back at what happened during her high school years, the first thing that comes to her mind is the pain. The physical pain of that night that she still can't remember clearly, the night where she was slammed against the wall by a Hollow, not that she knew what it was at the time. But she remembers the emotional pain more. The pain of not being able to help Orihime and Ichigo, of causing them pain. She remembers the weakness that she felt due to not being in the loop, not being trusted by her friends to know everything, not having anyone who she could talk to about what was happening.

But thinking about all of that is painful in itself so she tries to ignore it, pretend it never happened. She even does a pretty good job of it until the night he comes knocking at her door.

* * *

"Arisawa? Arisawa, you there?"

It's about ten-thirty on a Thursday night when she hears the person outside her apartment. She's laying on the couch, watching a little bit of television before she turns in for the night, feeling too comfortable to actually move herself to her bedroom. At first, she ignores the voice and the knocks because she can't place the voice and God knows she doesn't feel like dealing with some random neighbor who wants to complain about something.

But the knocking doesn't stop. It goes on for what feels like five minutes straight, although it's probably been only around a minute or two, before she gets so annoyed that she untangles herself from the blanket on the couch and goes to look through the peephole of the door. It's not much help though as the man outside is looking down at the floor and she can't see his face. Eventually, he puts his fist down and gives a low, "Shit."

"Who is it?" She doesn't know why she says it, why she doesn't just let the guy walk away. Maybe Tatsuki just can't stand the dejected aura surrounding him. But the minute she says the words, the man outside perks up a bit. He looks up and Tatsuki is sure she's seen him before, but it's still kind of dark in the hallway so she just can't seem to place him.

"It's Asano Keigo."

Tatsuki mulls that over for a few seconds before opening the door.

"Hi," the man on her doorstep says.

"Hey, Asano," Tatsuki says in a voice that is half-"Wow, it's good to see you," and half-"What the hell are you doing on my doorstep at night when I haven't talked to you in, what, like two years?"

The two of them stand at the door for a few moments, not saying anything. Finally, he breaks the silence.

"Um, can I come in?"

"Excuse me?" Her voice is now at least seventy-five percent "What the hell are you going on about?"

"Please, I need to say something to you."

"Then say it."

He takes a deep breath, frustrated. Tatsuki gets a whiff of something that smells like some kind of alcohol.

"It's kind of complicated and it might take a while." Tatsuki rolls her eyes and begins to shut the door. She's not in the mood to deal with the ramblings of a drunken man, especially not one who is annoying enough when sober. He sticks his foot in the door. "Please, it's important."

She looks at his face. Oh, damn it, he's looking at her with those eyes. The eyes that make it look as if someone kicked his puppy. Or like he's the puppy that got kicked. A cold feeling suddenly comes over her.

"Oh, God, is someone we know hurt? Are they dea-?" He looks at her with wide eyes before shaking his head.

"No, everybody's fine. Well, I'm not fine. Well, I'm not hurt or sick or anything either. I just have something that I need to say to you. Which I already told you, didn't I?" He sighs. "I've also been drinking."

Tatsuki actually snorts at this.

"Oh, really, Asano?"

"Can I please come in, Arisawa? Please." And his voice is just so desperate that Tatsuki finds herself opening the door.

"Okay, just please, please, don't start crying," she tells him as he walks into her apartment. He stops and turns to her, a look of confusion on his face.

"Crying?"

"Yeah, Asano. I seem to remember you doing that ALL of the time. When you were happy, sad, scared, whatever."

"Oh, shut up, Arisawa," he mutters. There's a pause. "I don't do that anymore."

She almost laughs as she shuts the door.

"So you want a drink? I'm not gonna give you anything alcoholic, because I'm sure you don't need any more of it."

"Maybe some water would be good." She nods and gestures for him to take a seat on the couch. He sits, moving her blanket out of the way. Tatsuki walks to the kitchen, which is really just a small addition to the living room, and pours him some water from the sink. She looks back at the couch. She can only see the back of Asano's head but he seems to be looking around the small room. She walks back towards him and hands him the cup. "Thanks," he says, before taking a sip of the water.

Tatsuki remains standing for a few moments. Now that they're right next to each other and now that they're both silent, she can feel his reiatsu slightly. It's a familiar feeling, one that puts her kind of on edge because his reiatsu is just like he is, kind of jumpy and all over the place. It's also the first time in a while that she's actually paid any close attention to someone's reiatsu. She sees a Plus or two sometimes and, more rarely, hears a distant Hollow but, for the most part, the spiritual world has not been part of her life the last year or two.

"You look pretty much the same, Arisawa," Asano says, breaking the silence. "Your hair is a little bit longer but that's it."

Tatsuki reflexively puts a hand up to her hair.

"Yeah, it's not spiked anymore. But it still barely reaches below my ears." She takes a seat on the couch, a foot or two away from him, as they lapse back into silence. He looks different, she muses to herself. He seems even scrawnier than she remembers, although it may be because he seems to have gotten taller. His hair isn't long and shaggy anymore. Instead, it's the typical boy haircut, not a buzz cut but not very long either. She's even a bit surprised to notice that he's got stubble on his chin. At this point, Asano notices her stare and looks away. Tatsuki gives an embarrassed cough.

"Listen, Asano, I have class in the morning so the sooner we have this conversation the better."

"Class? Oh, how's university treating you?"

She waves him off.

"Fine, it's okay. How's it treating you?" He blushes a bit.

"I'm still trying to get in. Guess I shouldn't have made fun of Ichigo and Chad for their good grades, huh?" The two sit in awkward silence for a while. Asano clears his throat. "Arisawa, I came here because tonight I went out drinking with some guys I know. And I don't know why I started thinking about it, but once I started thinking it, I just couldn't stop. And maybe it was the drinks but I felt like I had to come see you. So I came to your apartment."

"Wait a second," she interrupts. "How did you know where I live? Did Ichigo tell you?"

"Um, no, actually, it was Inoue-san."

Tatsuki's eyebrows raise.

"You talk to Orihime?"

"Very rarely," he says before raising his hands. "But that's not the point." His hands are clenching his checkered shirt now, his face contorted with nervousness. "I came here to apologize."

"For what?" Tatsuki says, even though she immediately knows where he's going with this. She tries to pass her voice off as carefree but even she can tell that it's coming off sounding like her teeth are clenched.

"I left you. You were in danger. Aizen was going to kill you. And I just left you there to die. I should have stayed and helped you fight him off. But, no, I was a coward and I ran away. I ran away from him because I was scared of dying and I was afraid of getting hurt." He spits it all out fast and then turns away. Every few seconds he glances at her but only for a moment.

"Oh, Asano," she finally says and she could kick herself for it, because she sounds like she's talking to a child. "I told you to leave. It's no big deal."

He turns to her fully now and in his eyes is anger. It looks strange on him.

"It is a big deal! Don't you understand?" His voice is louder now and his reiatsu is spiking and it's making Tatsuki feel like an animal being caged in.

"Asano, what could you have done against him?"

"What were you able to do, Arisawa?"

She crosses her arms.

"More than you!" She immediately knows that that was the wrong thing to say. A tremor seems to pass through him and he's not looking at her and she actually slaps herself on the forehead for her stupidity. "Shit, Asano, I didn't mean to say that. I mean, that's not even right."

"No, you're right," he says, his hands trembling. "You're you, you're so strong and you can actually put up a fight." And now he looks at her and his eyes seem to shine. "But, you have to understand, Arisawa, that Aizen was probably the strongest man ever, right? Next to him, even you were nothing." Then he shakes his head. "Damn it, now I said something stupid."

"Yeah," Tatsuki says, scowling. She doesn't care whether or not what he says is true. She doesn't need to be reminded of the fact that she was weak. Before she can tell him off, his hand is on her arm. His palm is sweaty from his nervousness and Tatsuki feels the anger wash out of her body almost immediately. She shuts her eyes and lays her head against the back of the couch. She gives a small chuckle. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I couldn't have done anything either. I was on my knees. You were at least able to move." She feels him let go of her and opens her eyes. He's got his head back against the couch too now, staring off into space.

"Well, we were both a mess," he whispers. Tatsuki makes an agreeing sound. She feels his reiatsu calming down and wonders if he can feel her's doing the same. It's a surprisingly comfortable feeling.

"Asano," she says. He looks at her, eyes half-lidded. "Do you remember what we were talking about before Aizen came?" He thinks for about a minute.

"Um, something about finding the people who were sleeping?"

"No, the other thing, the important thing."

He shakes his head.

"Arisawa, it was years ago." Tatsuki can't tell if he's being honest or not.

"About Kojima and how you were okay with him being distant as long as he was happy?"

Asano blushes and rubs his head.

"Yeah."

"I didn't say anything then but I understood what you were saying. I could have said the same thing about Orihime." She gives him a knowing smile. "But I knew you weren't really happy. You can't be, when you care so much about a person and then you feel like you're not as important to them as they are to you." He looks at her for a moment before placing his face in his hands. Tatsuki laughs and it feels good to be back with an old friend. "Damn it, Asano, you promised!"

"No, I didn't," his cracking, muffled voice protests but he's laughing slightly too. They sit there for about five minutes, lost in their own thoughts before she finally speaks up.

"Asano, I've got class in the morning."

"Oh, right," he says and stands up. Tatsuki's relieved to see that he seems steady on his feet and she wonders whether he really drank all that much tonight. She rises also and they walk together to the door. She opens it and he walks into the hallway before turning back to her.

"Listen, Arisawa. Thanks for... you know?" Tatsuki nods. She stares at him for a moment, the slightly awkward, slouched guy standing outside her doorway with his hands in his pockets. She's wondering whether she should shake his hand or give him a light punch on the shoulder or do something goofy like raise her hand for a high-five, when he leans forward and kisses her on the cheek for a good few seconds. She reacts by looking at him in shock and he actually laughs. "Come on, Arisawa, we're adults now." He gives her a wave and then walks down the hall. She waits until he's already on the stairs before closing her door.

"Adults?"

To her, the word sounds new out loud.


End file.
